|Discipline, Punishment, and Pain for Pleasure
by Master Tatu
Discipline vs Punishment
In a D/s Fantasy Role Play, there are defined roles of Dominance and submission. As the Role Play develops there are certain role and performance expectations that become established between Dominant and submissive. These of course will be unique to the individual relationship. These may be ongoing day to day expectations, or they may be training specific. The bottom line is that the Dominant craves control. The submissive craves to be controlled. When lines are crossed, discipline must be administered in an appropriate manner in order to maintain the relationship and allow it to grow.
Discipline is the administration of corrective measures for rules often carelessly broken. Punishment is the infliction of pain for direct rebellion against your authority.
One of the most common disciplines is spanking. When used as a discipline for unruly or disobedient behavior, there are some important things one might remember as useful and important:
Basically, disciplining your lovely submissive should be handled like a loving parent would handle a preschooler. I say that not to offend, but the same rules apply. Think about it.
1. The role and rules between Dominant and submissive must be clearly defined. If there is confusion about the roles and the submissive is punished, it can foster resentment and rebellion.
2. The dominant must be consistent with his submissive in upholding these roles and rules. Your submissive desires to please you. If you are not consistent with your desires and expectations, she will become confused and frustrated. If you punish your submissive once and allow her to get away with it later, she will lose respect for you and you punishments will lose its meaning. This is usually when bratty behavior crops up. She is trying to get your attention. She is trying to communicate to you that she needs your control.
3. Discipline must be just. Don't become an obsessed stickler for every little thing. You should not ride her for every minor infraction. As a loving Master/Mistress you need to make some allowances. Otherwise just like a parent sometimes does with a child you will inadvertently provoke your sub to wrath.
4. Clearly state to your rebellious one exactly what the offense is and what the punishment is.
5. Let the punishment fit the offense.
6. Waiting. Often it is most effective after expressing your displeasure to let her wait a while before the actual administration begins.
7. Never discipline in anger. Only with purpose. Sometimes it is wise for the Dominant to wait too.
8. Administer the punishment, as stated. There should be a definite beginning and ending. For example if you say you are to receive a spanking with 40 spanks on each cheek.... State it, do exactly as you said you would. She will resent it if you don't do as you say. If the punishment is to be no play for one week. State when it begins and ends.
9 When the punishment is over immediately come back together. This is called "Aftercare" and is especially important after severe punishments. Hold her, kiss her, caress her, and tell her you love her, and that all is forgiven. She is especially emotionally vulnerable at this point. You can do her great emotional and even psychological harm if you abandon her at this point.
10. Never bring up the offense again, unless similar behavior is repeated. Otherwise she will get the idea that you truly did not forgive her.
Crime and Punishment.
One of the keys to appropriate discipline is making the punishment/discipline fit the crime.
1. Discipline is administered for careless or inadvertent breaking of the rules and minor disrespect.
Disciplines might include:
For the pain sluts.... no play , no pleasuring for some time period, perhaps a few days. Not using a favorite toy, or using a not so favorite toy.
For those not into pain... a good hand spanking, but don't overdo it at this stage. Just make it memorable. A good mind fuck like not letting her cum for a short period of time.
2. Punishment is given when an act of direct defiance of authority is displayed by the submissive toward her Dominant. It might be good to say at this point that these are consensual punishments that fall under pre-negotiated boundaries.
Punishments might include:
For the pain sluts... no play for an extended period of time, perhaps a week or two. If you do play, even pain sluts have their most dreaded toys. you might want to break out that fear inducing toy and do a little mind fuck.
For those not into pain... this might be the time to play with another sub, and make her watch and not get to participate.
Here a good chastity belt might be in order as well. Not allowing her to cum for extended period of time.
A word about "Warm Ups": For many the difference here is simply in the warm up or absence of one. Discipline or punishment often has no warm up, no gradual build up from soft to heavy. For Discipline or punishment, the stinging blows may start immediately in order to make it not pleasurable.
Summary. Remember these disciplines and punishments are not designed to turn your submissive into a mindless doormat. Who would want that? If all you want an non-intelligent, non-thinking, non-conversant submissive, maybe you should try a dog or cat instead. Your submissive is a living, breathing, wonderful and unique human being. Disciplines and Punishments are intended to help your relationship grow. Treat her with respect and give her loving leadership, and she will serve you with the utmost respect and give you wonderful loving pleasure. Further she will grow as the Dominant helps her become a fulfilled person, living to the fullness of her chosen role to serve and please.
Discipline for Fun and Pleasure
Sometimes a submissive is bratty just for fun. She just wants your touch, your play and your attention. There is also great satisfaction for both Dominant and submissive in that he can discipline or punish her whenever he wants to and simply because he can. There is a great mental rush for both, knowing that he can bring out the flogger, or order you over his knee, just because. He "owns" you, you are consensually owned and he can do as he pleases with His property.
For you Sadists and masochists out there, this is where a lot of your pleasure comes from. Those spankings, floggings, canings, and paddlings just feel erotically good to you. Warm ups are not all that important to you. In fact can be a distraction.
There is a Spiritual connection here as well. With each strike of discipline, there is an energy involved, spiritual energy. A connection if you will. This is why so many just like plain old over the knee hand spankings. The Dominants flesh contacts the submissive's flesh. The contact is interpreted not only as pain, but great love.
Warm ups: Here warm ups are used. Beginning with soft strikes of the hand, flogger, paddle, cane, etc and gradually building up to a crescendo of pain and pleasure. Trust me, start off a corporal pleasure scene with no warm up, and she may turn around and take the paddle out of your hand and clobber you with it. Why? Because a pleasure scene calls for a good warm up and a gradual building up to work. Otherwise she will think she is being punished for no reason and resent you.
An ART to the Discipline
There is an art to a good spanking or flogging. So start with some good music, simultaneous breathing, meditation and touching. Then move on to soft, rhythmically, alternating light spanks and soft caresses. Gradually build to harder and harder strikes. The ass will begin to turn a nice pink then ultimately cherry red. Feel the warmth, the connection. With your fingers, tease her pussy with loving touches. Then return to increasingly harder spanks. Watch her hips churn and pussy stretch for your touch. Speak to her in the manner that pushes her buttons. She want to be your obedient slave, your slut, your whore.... Let her hear your voice tell her in a controlling loving tone as you allow her to move her arse to reach out into position finger fucking herself with your teasing hand. Then return to a little higher level, striking her ass increasingly harder.... and harder.... again tease her pussy... let her beg to cum..... Let her cum.
It is often appropriate during the administration of the discipline, that the submissive is trained in this aspect of Gratitude. The submissive may be required to say between each spank, "thank you Sir, may I have another".
Once the correction is over, it is appropriate for the submissive to express her gratitude to her Dominant for caring enough to give the discipline or punishment. If there is one complaint I hear most often, is about Doms who don't pay enough attention to exercise proper control. Subs here is where you can actually do a little training of a "non attentive thoughtless" Master. When he does good, and pushes your buttons just right, shower him with gratitude. Fall at his feet, curl up there and kiss his boots, sob and wash his feet with your tears and hair. Sleep at his feet. Trust me he will get the picture.
Even if he is a good Master and a loving leader, don't forget the gratitude. As I like to call it.... "some serious sucking up". :::smile:::
Look into his eyes and show him your adoration. If he doesn't get it by now... I'm sorry to say he's probably not worth it.
Remember whether you believe it or not. No matter how much it hurts, each blow to your arse is a way in which your Master is demonstrating his love for you, just as each spank you endure is a testimony to him how much you love him.