Disclaimer: This newsletter is just a collection
of my ramblings. It is not intended to be authoritative in any way. Just
reflections of my personal explorations. If anyone finds it interesting or
helpful for me that is a plus. I don't know it all and stay far
away from the elitists who think they do. I am no Master of anything,
just a student on a journey who loves to explore life, art, relationships
and hopefully will one day learn to at least be the Master my own soul and
the loving leader of another self empowered one who wishes to walk along
side me.
Building
Community
by Tatu
We
often use the term "community" when referring to the BDSM or Lifestyle
practitioners. This "community" we refer to is actually a very vague and
subjective concept. It is as it is interpreted in the minds of participants
and if you ask 10 people what lifestyle community is; you will get 10 different
answers, and still how it is in reality is probably yet another thing. You
see there is no accepted hierarchy or ruling body to this "community". No
one is making the rules, so to speak. Our local "support and education"
organization is strictly just that and it has been our policy since the beginning
that we do not get involved in personal issues or conflicts in the "community".
So "community" is up to the maturity and character of the individuals.
So if "community" is important to us, what makes it a positive and good thing?
That is hard to nail down. Community can be built upon numerous ideas and
concerns, both good and bad. Sometimes community is built over interests
like the "bondagers" or the "spankers" or the "single tail crackers". Sometimes
community is built upon a certain clique of friends, which could be a good
thing or a negative thing.
Our local support and educational organization from the beginning was organized
upon the need to support and provide good educational opportunities to anyone
who wants to learn, so as to strengthen a safer and enjoyable community.
What any social group eventually becomes and is identified by will depend
upon a number of principles. Here are a few things I hope we would all think
about when attempting to define and live in our community.
Non-Judgmentalism. One would think that
an alternative sexual lifestyle community would be very liberal and hence
non-judgmental and tolerant of all lifestyle expressions, but this is not
always the case. It has been surprising to me, how opinionated and fundamentalist
some can be in the "lifestyle community". Judgmentalism develops when a person
does not understand others, nor find acceptance in their practices; and therefore
finds criticism and a need to try to make others fit into their box. The
bottom line is in a community like ours is that "we don't have to understand
or even accept" what other's do. We should allow for differences and new
ideas without moralistic judgment or even negative commentary about what
is is "they" do.
Unconditional Positive Regard. Our task
if we are to succeed in building a healthy community is to grasp a mature
adult demeanor toward others. The phrase Unconditional Positive Regard is
a phrase one of my graduate school professors used to define "love". It has
stuck with me all these years.
Gossip, Rumor-mongering, etc…….
Repeating tales is the best way to disrupt or even destroy community.
Have you ever thought about why a certain percentage of any social group,
feels it necessary to spread gossip and rumors or just put down others generally?
I remember back in my church-going days there was a certain group of elderly
women, who usually sat near the front pew. They were notorious for their
viperous tongues in spreading discord, usually by whispering behind other
people's backs.
If there is one thing that I have found that has consistently driven people
out of the community it is the "talk". Someone assaulted their character
by spreading some untruth, and so they packed up their bags, reasoning they
did not need to subject themselves to that kind of crap. Or others just pull
back into their own small group where they feel safe from the B.S.
Having studied psychology and sociology in my undergraduate and graduate
studies, we come to understand that some people just have a need to stir
things up for a number of reasons, here are a few to think on:
1) A pathological need for drama. For
some people, their lives would just not be complete if there was not something
melodramatic constantly going on. Trouble is they suck us dry of all of our
energy. These are called "energy vampires".
2) Low self-esteem often leads one to
put down or try and drag down others, because they don't like themselves.
Subconsciously they reason if they can pull someone down by making negative
comments about them, it makes them feel better about their own lack of
self-esteem.
3) Self-guilt. Often persons who have
a lot to hide put up smoke screens, by casting aspersions on others in some
negative way, in order to hide what they themselves are guilty of or lack
in ability.
4. Con Games.Sometimes people
just like messing with others, in a negative sense. They get their jollies
out of non-consensual con games. They love to just stir it up. It gives them
power, albeit a misuse of power, in their minds.
5. Over inflated sense of self-importance.
Some feel that their way is superior to others and have the need to
try and straighten everyone else out. This of course is ego out of control.
So the next time you hear some one carrying tales assassinating someone else's
character, or putting down someone else's way of doing things, remember that
person is usually describing themselves, a lack of their own character or
ability. So smile, consider the folly of their words and take it with a grain
of salt, decipher fact from fiction, put them on ignore, move on and have
fun.
Unfortunately we are not that different from the population at large. We
in the lifestyle community have our old biddy's sitting on the front pew,
whispering and creating divisions by stirring the pot.
South Florida is not unique to this. In recent years I have had the opportunity
to share with a number of communities around the country of all sexual
orientations and it's the same everywhere.
It is sad, however, to look around and see groups meeting here and there,
people who used to be good friends, who now won't speak to each other or
be at the same party with "so and so".
Perhaps what we need is a revival of simple practices such as common courtesy,
respect, caring and compassion.
Everyone is entitled to a certain level of common interpersonal courtesy
and politeness simply because we are human and share in a common lifestyle
community. Respect, however is earned with good interpersonal behavior and
honesty in one's dealing within the community. To expect or demand respect
just because you decide you should have it is folly. The level of respect
one holds is always changing and can be lost by poor behavior.
Integrity, which is maintaining the consistency between what one says or
does in private and in public, is a goal we all should strive for. Those
who walk with integrity will undoubtedly earn the respect of their lifestyle
community brethren.
Building community is hard work.
So we have to decide; if we truly want to work at community, here are
some thoughts you might find worth thinking about:
1) Be committed to truthfulness and not get sucked into the gossip mill.
2) Decide now to live your life with courtesy, compassion and integrity.
3) Don't judge others, lest you be judged. You don't need to understand or
even agree with other people's kinks, nor is your way the only or best way.
But we do need to accept everyone unconditionally and with a positive mind,
because without courtesy, politeness, integrity and respect, there is no
community, just competing egos and a degenerating social structure.
4) If there are interpersonal problems, have the courage and integrity to
go to the person face to face and talk it out and purpose to get whatever
the problem is resolved. Consider bringing in a mediator to assist with
communications and resolve differences of understanding. Unless they are
a child molestor, rapist, serial killer or known abuser in the community,
there is no excuse for not working it out.
Refusing common courtesy and giving others "the silent treatment" is
the height of egotistical and disrespectful behavior and only shows how childish
some people really are. There is no greater shame on a community than to
see this type of behavior among so-called adults.
In Closing
The bottom line is that people become a meaningful part of a "community"
if it has value and people enjoy being a part of it. When it stops being
fun, they go away. Protect what you hold important, do not let deception
block your way towards the truth, and make a difference so others may cherish
the community that has brought meaning to your life.
Finally, I must say however, don't lose your personal tranquility over it
all. One of the lessons I have learned in studying Aikido, a martial art
that literally means, "The Way of Peace", is that when one truly walks in
their own personal harmony, expect attacks from those who have no peace in
their own souls. Community is a wonderful thing, but don't lose your way
or your own sense of harmony in the process. ...
(c) April 2005, Revised June 2006 .Master Tatu
Tatu@ds-arts.com
http://www.ds-arts.com
SOME SPECIAL
ANNOUNCEMENTS
I am pleased to announce that I have been asked to do two Nawa Dojo's (weekend
rope workshops) in the coming months.
Some call it Zen. We call it Rope
!
Join Rope Master Tatu for an intimate weekend event.
August 25-27, 2006
Chicago, IL
Registration limited to only 40 people* Act Quickly, don’t get shut
out.
Explore the simple connection between you and your rope, as Master Tatu teaches
you how to gain more from your bondage experience, just as the Japanese have
done for many years.
Master Tatu’s exclusive
“The Way of Rope”
(Nawa-Do) Workshop takes you not only into the techniques but
also into the spiritual realm. Learn to release your partner into a world
of their essence. Help them find submission in its purest form: surrender.
Learn to create an environment that encompasses only you and your partner,
moving together into the next level of consciousness.
Using techniques in:
Hojojutsu - The martial skill of capturing,
restraining, and transporting prisoners with rope, originally practiced by
the samurai, hundreds of years abo.
Kinbaku – means beautiful rope, a form
that evolved from Hojo-jutsu practices.
Nawa Shibari – The modern expression of
binding with rope.
You’ll learn the basics of safety, knots and materials, but this is
far more than just technique. Master Tatu will teach you about the sensual
side of D/s through rope. Whether you are an advanced rope enthusiast or
this is the first time you’ve tied a knot, alone or with your partner,
allow Master Tatu the honor of showing you this experience through a completely
different perspective.
Click
here to learn more about Master Tatu, his life and studies of
“The Way Of Rope” (Nawa-do).
*Registration is $50.00 per person
10am to 5pm on Saturday and 10am to 3pm on Sunday.
There will be a play party on Saturday night at the venue. If you’re
not a member of Galleria Domain you can get a trial membership for the special
price of $15.00. Click here to signup for a trial membership.
Don’t miss your chance to be the lucky Rope lover who wins 1 free
registration to Shibaricon 2007, courtesy of Mortis and the Shibaricon Team.
Register Now! Brought
to you by "Great Lakes
Bondage Club" and sponsored by
EroticHemp
and Galleria
Domain.
G.R.A.L.E.
- Michigan Weekend(Grand Rapids,
MI) S.I.L.K. with Rope Master Tatu and
shevah
September 9-10, 2006 (tentative date, subject to change, to be confirmed
shortly)
A weekend exploration into the Japanese Inspired Rope Bondage as well
as looking at D/s from a perspective that Master Tatu has entitled S.I.L.K.
Explore a new and growing genre' of the alternative lifestyles
including Japanese Rope Art, dress, customs, rituals, protocols, Japanesee
Tea Ceremony and much much more.
***Following these two Dojo's, I will be returning to Kinky Kollege, where
Master Z has graciously asked me to coordinate the Bondage track this year.
Guess that make me the "Dean of Bondage". .....wink
Kinky Kollege (Chicago,
IL)
October 13 - 15, 2006 http://www.KinkyKollege.com
Tatu will be teaching as well as coordinating the entire bondage track..
This event draws about 400 attendees each fall.
The Pet
"The Pet" is a new film that premiered at Cannes in May 2005 and is now nominated
for two Grammy Awards.
As you can see there are clear D/s themes as well as some rope suspension.
In the positve you can see that it opens with a clear and compelling story
of a negotiated consensual Master / slave relationship. Then we see the bad
guys, people who trafic in non-consensual human slavery, and the drama unfolds.
Since I first brought this movie to the attention of my yahoo groups which
involves about 15,000 people on June 19 and encouraged others to spread them
to their groups, in just two days the site production website has jumped
from about 400 to over 8000 hits in just two days. Thier My Space went
from about 8 friends to 80. Let's keep up the good work to let them
know there is an audience out here. ... Tatu
Here is a letter received from the producer.
Thanks so much for expressing your interest in viewing THE PET movie. We
are campaigning HARD to have the distributors premiere THE PET in multiple
US cities in the next several months and your participation is significant!
Armed with stacks of emails, MySpace friends, and 1000s of hits from the
website, we hope to be able to convince them that the audience DOES exist
and WILL attend a theatrical presentation of this film. Please help us show
them we have the Alternative Lifestyle Communitys support in bringing this
important film to its audience.
Heres what you can do. Tell everyone you know (over the age of 18) to:
2. Visit www.myspace.com/thepetmovie
(http://www.myspace.com/thepetmovie)
and become a FRIEND of THE PET MOVIE; leave a comment and let us know what
city youd like to see the film in and how many people you think you could
get to attend the opening weekend.
3. OR, email thepetmovie@tricoast.com and let us know the city and number
of guests to attend the opening.
4. Be vocal on your fav internet groups and let them all know about THE PET
and .. 1,2,3 above.
5. Forward this message to all of your friends Getting an independent voice
heard is not easy. Thanks for playing a part in getting THE PET seen by as
many people as possible!
Warm regards,
Marcy
Marcy Hamilton
Producer, THE PET
thepetmovie@tricoast.com
If you like the cage used in the movie, you can buy one here:
Many of
you remember the phrase, "Ichi-e ichi-go" that I have been teaching
in my classes at Shibaricon and in my "Way of Rope" (c) 1999 essay.
It means simply "Each moment, only
once". It communicates the idea that yesterday
is gone, tomorrow may never come, live in the moment. Pop star,
Roller Girl in her new release "Geisha Dreams" uses this phrase in the word
to this song. I like it. ~Tatu
A Globarl Practical Joke: The Japanese
reveal the truth
about sushi and other secrets that you want to know.
Verry funny. A must watch.
Shibari on Japanese TV.
A Karada being applied in front of an audience.
The Secret Life of Geisha - NBC
In December 2002, NBC played a spot featuring an interview
with Mineko Iwasaki in relation to the Memoirs of a Geisha novel.
A Meiko Debut - Japan.
MAIKOsan learns waiting on customers manners and I study
entertainments and aim at a full-fledged geisha.
Taiko: Inochi Taiko Max
Geisha Dance
Upcoming Rope Related Events:
Tes Fest (Edison, NJ)
June 30 - July 3, 2006 http://www.tesfest.org
This year featuring 13 bondage workshops
This 35th Anniversary event is expected to draw over 1000 attendees.
Transforming Rope (Austin,
Texas)
A New Approach to Connecting
August 5-6 2006
A new local event produced by MYu.
For Info contact: senorjaime@austin.rr.com or japrope@yahoo.com.
Fetish Con (Tampa Florida)
August 10-13, 2006 http://fetishcon.com
This is a trade show for adult oriented models, photographers and
producers.
There are a few workshops, no "play" nights, but local fetish clubs put on
big parties each evening. Last year there were over 1000 attendees.
Great Lakes Bondage Club (Chicago, IL) presents: Master Tatu's Nawa Dojo (The Way of Rope)
Co-Sponsored by EroticHemp and Galleria Domain
August 25-27, 2006
"The Way of Rope" is an intensive rope bondage workshop from the Japanese
Inspired Rope Bondage Arts of Hojojutsu / Shibari /Kinbaku led by Rope
Master Tatu and assisted by "katiekat"
For more informations contact
michael@erotichemp.com
Registration is limited.
A local rope event now in it's second year.
16 Bondage related workshops & 2 Play Nights
Last year this event was attended by about 75 people
GRALE
- Michigan Weekend(Grand Rapids,
MI) S.I.L.K. with Rope Master Tatu and
shevah
September 9-10, 2006 (tentative date, subject to change)
A weekend exploration into the Japanese Inspired Rope Bondage as well
as looking at D/s from a perspective that that Master Tatu has entitled S.I.L.K.
Explore a new and growing genre' of the alternative lifestyles including
Japanese Rope Art, dress, customs, rituals, protocols, Japanesee Tea Ceremony
and much much more.
Kinky Kollege (Chicago, IL)
October 13 - 15, 2006
http://www.KinkyKollege.com
Tatu will be teaching again this year, as well as coordinating the entire
bondage track for this event.
This event draws about 400 attendees annually.
Shibaricon IV
May 25-28, 2007
An International event in it's 4th year featuring an amazing
64 Workshops and 3 Play Party Nights
This event historically has been attended by about 250-300 attendees
each year.
In 2000, I started something I called "Shibari South Florida". We met
in my home for a while and have met periodically since. Our numbers grew
too large for my residence and so we have now ventured out into renting space
for our workshop and social gatherings. Our next workshop will be Saturday,
February 18, 2006 in Ft Lauderdale, Florida, followed by a social time we
have named "S. I. L. K." which stands for:
"Sensuous
Intimate
Loving
Kinbaku"
Or,
Sadistic
Insane Lascivious
Kink, depends on our
mood that night...
And sometimes we even enjoy:
Sensuous
Uninhibited
Sexy
Hot
Intimacy
If you live in South Florida, and are interested in rope, please contact
us about future gatherings.
Our next meeting will be Saturday, June 24th.
"Erotic Hemp" for your Bondage
D/s ARts & Shibari South Florida has teamed up with Sir Michael of Erotic
Hemp in Chicago to provide a quality hemp rope product to the Florida
Community. Tatu will have 30' & 15' lengths of 6mm finished hemp rope
available at SSF and other South Florida events. Also available will be the
Tatsushi Rope bags. See their new website: http://www.erotichemp.com
Hemp rope is the traditional material used in shibari; a Japanese form of
rope bondage. It is becoming more and more popular among bondage enthusiasts.
Hemp rope is strict yet soft, it holds knots tighter with less slippage and
it doesn't stretch. Erotic ropes are created from grade Romanian twisted
hemp. Twelve hours of work go into each piece of erotic rope. Each length
of rope is washed and then dried. The rope is then oiled, boiled, dried and
singed to remove stray fibers. This process is repeated three times by a
most loving rope slut so we can offer you the finest quality twisted hemp
for all your bondage perversions.
(Image by Tatu)
C.A.R.E. D/s ARts is also hosting a
page for the Cincinnati Area Rope Enthusiasts, which meets once a month for
what they "Rope Rendezvous". They have been having their maximum for the
space which is 25 and have had had to turn people away virtually every month.
This event is led by Master David of Kentucky and subshevah.
Please remember "gabriel", Steve aka "Etienne". and my son-in-law, Darrell
in your prayers along with all the rest of our young men and women serving
in Iraq.
NOTE:
(c) 2006 Tatu
S.I.L.K.
"Sensuous
Intimate
Loving
Kinbaku", or Sadistic
Insane Lascivious
Kink,
and
Sensuous
Uninhibited
Sexy Hot
Intimacy
are
copyright logos used to describe the
Japanese or Eastern School of D/s.
All rights reserved. Tatu
We
often use the term "community" when referring to the BDSM or Lifestyle
practitioners. This "community" we refer to is actually a very vague and
subjective concept. It is as it is interpreted in the minds of participants
and if you ask 10 people what lifestyle community is; you will get 10 different
answers, and still how it is in reality is probably yet another thing. You
see there is no accepted hierarchy or ruling body to this "community". No
one is making the rules, so to speak. Our local "support and education"
organization is strictly just that and it has been our policy since the beginning
that we do not get involved in personal issues or conflicts in the "community".
So "community" is up to the maturity and character of the individuals.
Click here
to see the trailer >>>>
D/s ARts & Shibari South Florida has teamed up with Sir Michael of Erotic
Hemp in Chicago to provide a quality hemp rope product to the Florida
Community. Tatu will have 30' & 15' lengths of 6mm finished hemp rope
available at SSF and other South Florida events. Also available will be the
Tatsushi Rope bags. See their new website: http://www.erotichemp.com
